Check, check

Illinois bar exam- check. Tickets to baseball- check. New, supercute racing sunglasses- check (hey, even a robot like me has to bribe herself once in a while to stay motivated). While I am still looking for my sanity after this last bar exam experience, my body continues to rebel against being subjected to further regimentation and discipline, mostly in the form of a nagging quad pain (this could be fun on Sunday- stay tuned!), and I am battling that inevitable post-goal-reaching funk, I am also making my lists and doing my errands in order to be ready to leave for home bright and early tomorrow morning. About this, I am excited. It's this week in the city that has been the challenge. I am not exactly sure what it is that has made me struggle so much this week, but hopefully tonight's workout- my last speedwork session and inaugural run on the new shoes I am picking up at lunch- will knock me right out of the funk and into the fastlane.

Alright, off ot create more lists...and pack...and run. More when I arrive tomorrow!

Raising the Bar (Anxiety)

The Illinois bar is in exactly one week. Yes, this is my second bar. Yes, I voluntarily signed up for this one (but only sitting for one day? priceless), and yes, this time it's different. As I sat in the library of my former law school this weekend-all weekend- I looked around and wanted to tell everyone that it was going to be alright. It's not such a big deal. Everything will work out. But then, I realized that I would be lying. And then I started to freak out a bit myself as I alternated between moments of thinking that I knew all this stuff and all the hours and hours and hours that I put in last summer and actually practicing this year would pay off and thinking that I couldn't possibly work fast enough to get all this stuff to the front of my brain again.

Then, yesterday, when I learned what a terrible combination tar, dog paws and hardwood floors are and spent extremely valuable time washing the dog's paws with vegetable oil (it works! good one, B!)and scrubbing the floors with a toothbrush to get said tar out, I felt the panic and the exasperation creep in and start to take hold, I did the only thing I could think of to make it stop: I went for a run. Sure, it was still 87 degrees at 10pm with about 85% humidity, but it was one of the best runs I've had in a long time. No watch, no manadatory mile target to hit for training. In fact, it was a nonrunning day on the calendar, which made the whole thing almost better because it reminded me that I really have drunk the kool-aid now: I wholeheartedly love running. The miles flew by as I thought about how, even a few months ago, this route would have been a bit of a challenge and how I've gotten stronger, both physically and mentally (5am mornings in the cold and rain do that for ya) through the process. When I got home? I kicked some ass at the studying...because I knew I could and for a little while the wheels stopped spinning and just worked as efficiently as they could in the time there was. Good thing I went for that run.

The Mini

This morning I finished my last training run in preparation for the Road Runners' Women's Only 10K, and I am ready to race. Since I last posted, I survived those shows that I was so dreading and think I learned something about myself along the way. I then went to the acupuncturist who, along with the taking of giant glucosamine supplement pills, helped me with that creaky knee. Thank goodness for Dr. Ana and Glucosamine- what a difference! Then, I did another, completely less intense show,....and then I decided to sit for the IL bar. And then, I got into the NIKE NYC Half-Marathon, which is an amazingly cool event, which required a lottery drawing because it's so popular. God definitely has a sense of humor because it is also 2 days before I have to sit for aforementioned IL bar exam. Isn't it supposed to be the lazy days of summer?!?!

Uh, yeah, not lazy. The IL bar exam will only be one day, since my multi-state score was good enough to carry forward and waive me out of taking that again...now it's just me and esssays. Essays that I have to handwrite because there are no openings in the laptop program- drat! This is the last administration of the exam that I can do that for, otherwise the scores "expire" under IL rules, so it makes sense. Then I never have to think about it again and I will be admitted to the bar in case I need or want to move back. That does not mean it is not painful, however. Thankfully, all the copious notes I took and flashcards I made last year are already coming in rather handy.
Still, it is going to be a journey.

The Nike half is going to be awesome! It's a great event and I'll run through a closed-down Times Square (along with the other runners, not just randomly). If all goes well, I think I will run it (it starts at 7am), be done by 9 then can catch a flight later that day, be in Chicago for Sunday night, study and rest on Monday, steak dinner Monday night, take the bar Tuesday, giant margarita or 7 Tuesday night and fly back to NYC on Wednesday.

Then, I return to Chicago 2 weeks later for White Sox versus Red Sox on Friday night and then running the Chicago Distance Classic (another 1/2 marathon) on Sunday morning. Oh, and this one is for a cause......Racoco productions! As a way of raising funds for the upcoming company quest, the company will be accepting pledges for my run....so it's for a good cause, and it's good midwestern fun. Plus, who likes a challenge more than me?! LOL

More soon!

Frustration is spelled with an "OW"

I did, in fact, make my peace with not running the Brooklyn Half due to the upcoming shows which require a LOT of technical dancing and preferrably two functioning knees. This peace was coaxed along by 1 fantastic hat for 1 fantastic derby party and more than 1 mint julep.....but peace is peace, right?!

Now, I am having an easy running week, at least for the mileage, if not for feeling easy. After last week's 6 mile tempo run, I thought that I had pretty much kicked the knee pain, was feeling good and confident. Yesterday, I was alright- ran a mile to yoga, did yoga and ran the mile home (that route means that the end of the run is uphill....damn my apartment location!). This morning, up early to get running. I was already slightly creaky as I rolled out of bed and decided to head to the track for some kinder, gentler surface rather than over the bridge on pavement. About a mile in and already on the track, the knee started acting stiff- not good. So, I cut the run slightly short, knowing that I can probably get in some elliptical at lunch before class and rehearsal tonight, but starting to worry. I think that before I hit the doctor and use my entire flexspending account on Advil, I will go to see my acupuncturist and see if a few treatments there do the trick. Plus, I am due to start training for the distance classic next monday (no rest ofr the wicked, right?), so this pesky pain better go away. I think finishing the shows and extreme turnout will help it- I think my IT Band is just confused about where it should be when I am working intensely in both parallel and turnout....let's hope so...and let's hope it gets a clue soon!

Ch-ch-ch-chafing!

Ouch. This is what the skin on my collarbone says. Yow.....armpits. With the onset of warmer weather comes new and interesting reactions to running clothes. I *might* have overdone it this past weekend. I ran 6 on Saturday- both to process and ruminate all the information I acquired this weekend (including the appearance of a very special guest star at rehearsal) and to silence the voice in my head that tells me I am a lazy fatass....this was a lovely run. It was humid and I figured that's why my knee got a little creaksville on me. So, I decided it would be lovely to do 11 the next day. The knee doth protest. And kept protesting through most of those miles...until it finally just refused to go. thankfully, this was two blocks from the car. We took yesterday off, the knee and I, a rest day made easier by the fact that I also had to recover from a blender full of Blaine's dacquiris! But, we are still a bit on the sore side of ouch.

Trying, Trying, TRYING to savor the moment

I consider myself someone who can generally appreciate the irony, humor, or ridiculousness of whatever it is I am doing at the time. Also, I have found that running really helps me do this particularly well (why I would want to appreciate sweating like a pig and subjecting myself to HOURS of putting one foot in front of the other fairly rapidly is beyond me, but i never claimed to be sane, just aware). So, I am struggling right now; really, really struggling. So much so that I have found myself counting down the days until I can be free. Let me explain.

The fact that I am currently rehearsing for a part that I had, then was splitting and then told over voicemail that I was too fat to do (so I stopped attending rehearsals) and THEN called and asked to do after all, requiring more rehearsals than I am able to sanely commit to or had ever planned on, takes every ounce of mental energy that I have. For each and every rehearsal. Add to this a full time job that is fairly stressful, the fact that I am running another half-marathon in 2 1/2 weeks, and a brand new puppy who needs a consistent schedule and you might be able to see why I am at the end of my rope.

Instead of counting down the days to race day and being excited, I am planning for the race and the fact that I have to rehearse about 4 hours after I finish it. Not exciting. I know that the shows will be good, and so will the race, but I can't wait until this is over so that I can focus on the upcoming running goals and think about taking a vacation. And, the puppy.

In the meantime, I will try and focus on one day at a time and direct that anger towards the speed workout that I am doing today before I speak on a panel this evening. Ramble on.

Serious Ambition

You know that you are insane when you choose races based on the baseball schedule....but that is EXACTLY what I did yesterday! The Chicago Distance Classic is a half-marathon that happens on August 10th. This is great timing beause it is about 2 months before San Francisco, but even better because the Boston Red Sox will be in town to play my White Sox!! So, I am taking a day and going to Friday night's game (and fireworks display), which will give me a chance to cheer on my team AND recover for a day before the race, which is super early on Sunday morning.

This morning, I couldn't get out of bed. The plan had been to run before work. HOwever, the plan didn't happen. Maybe it's because I ran to and from yoga yesterday morning, on my "off" day; maybe it's because I have a puppy who is a lovable and squishy energy zapper; maybe it's because i am absolutely DREADING having to rehearse tonight and could think of nothing better than staying buried under the covers all day. However ,while I was lying in bed berating myself for being such a slacker, and noting that I would have to now run either directly before or after rehearsal (enjoy those six miles, sucker), I started thinking about goals. That, and Blaine made me promise not to commit to 47 races that make my schedule such that we can't take a vacation this summer...

Here are my thoughts:
I have the Brooklyn Half in 3 1/2 weeks- which will be a day that begins with running a half-marathon, followed by dance class and rehearsal and a Kentucky Derby party.....FULL DAY. This one I am not hoping to take off too much time (maybe a minute or 2)- I would be happy to run a 1:55.

Then, I am waiting to see if I get into the NYC Half on July 26th- this gives me a lot of time to train. If not, there is Chicago on August 10. This one is a big one- I want to break 1:45 for this, which I hope will put me on pace for the full marathon two months later.

And here is the big goal: the one I will need encouragement and pushing to achieve.....
I want to run San Francisco in under 3:40, which will mean that I qualify for Boston the following spring. There it is: I've said it......I am running to qualify for Boston.
Shit.

Do I need a running coach? OR do I simply need my head examined? Why am I so competitive?